Today I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a train again. I felt like my skin was all tight and burning and I felt so heavy. I could literally feel the weight of the world crushing my soul. I didn't want to be here at all. I couldn't bring myself to get up and brush my teeth, take Bambi out or anything. I needed a shower and in all honesty I still do. I am still trying to re-ground myself. I am going to though. I rang the police in a panic and begged them to stop these lies. I told them I was chucking out all of my belongings and I just wanted to pack a suitcase and go. I feel so unsafe at home knowing my stalker has my address again. I am convinced he practices dark magic and is sending other people to hex and curse me too. Because I have the strongest mindset and I always see the positive in everything but sometimes I just have an overwhelming darkness hanging over me. Suffocating me. Outside voices telling me I am now good enough and I mayswell quit life already. But I refuse to. My light is stronger than their darkness and I will find a way to make an example out of the person that has turned my life into chaos using the internet. He thinks he is untouchable but he is wrong. I can feel he is being watched but he can't. He is too narcissistic and self-centred to see beyond his own manipulation. The police listened and I felt heard. They showed empathy and advised I speak to theplatkforms to try and get their help. They assured me that they are noting my request for them to pilot 'Digital Restraining Orders'. So I have update day petition, updated this blog and I am sat trying to calm myself. Live streaming still to raise awareness and showcase resilience. I have explained that due to my neurodiversity and lack of support, I need to be live to feel safe because I have a lot of love and support there too. I might not gifted big or have loads of subs but I can feel the love. I know it's there. It's just a matter of time before the truth comes out. 

Team work makes the dream work 

A healing journey